Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
