based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
