She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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