my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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