yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
