There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
