what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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