If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
