i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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