I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize