Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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