I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
