it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
