i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I checked into jail on foursquare
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
