what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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