This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
