I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Operation Purity has been aborted
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
