Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize