look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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