all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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