so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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