Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
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