Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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