On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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