real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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