He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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