I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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