bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
