i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
