I showed him my bush... on skype.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Randomize
