Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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