How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
