I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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