my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
he fucked my hip out of place.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
