New invention idea: vibrating tampons
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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