I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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