I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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