I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
