I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
she looked like the before picture.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
