yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
