Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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