at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize