Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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