the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
