she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I could fuck to npr.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize