I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
