He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
