Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
