Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
