we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I wish there were birth control emojis
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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