he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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