I am in a vortex of obligation.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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