You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
