my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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