dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
