We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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