:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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