...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Randomize
