She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
