I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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