remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Randomize