Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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