I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Randomize
