Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
