We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
