the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
