He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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