Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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