I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize