Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
