If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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