This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize